Stuff to eat. Mostly around St. Louis.

Spencer 11/30/15 Spencer 11/30/15

Tai Ke

If I were planning an ultimate eating trip through Asia, I'd start in Japan, bounce down to Taiwan, swing over to Hong Kong, dive down to Vietnam, then finish things off in Singapore. Surprised to see Taiwan on the list? You shouldn't be. The sub-tropical island off the Southeastern coast of China is a food mecca, full of some of the most food-obsessed people I've ever met. There are two sides to Taiwanese cuisine: street food and restaurant food. I spent little time at actual restaurants in Taiwan, and almost every dish I ate at them was similar to the Hokkien Chinese food I was eating on a daily basis in Singapore. This means a lot of noodle soups, braised meats, and tons of seafood.

Tai Ke is St. Louis' newest and only Taiwanese restaurant, as far as I know. I wasn't overly excited about eating there until my sister went and told me they had a Taiwanese Street Snack section of the menu.

I fucking love Taiwanese street snacks.

I nearly shutdown from culinary overload at the Shilin street market. Fried chicken breasts the size of a small child, sausages of all sizes and flavors wrapped in sticky rice, penis-shaped waffles and ice cream, dumplings galore, tofu that smells like a rotting corpse (okay, maybe not that one), bubble tea! I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Newcomers to the St. Louis blog scene JeniEats and Eat First Worry Later joined me for my culinary adventure to Tai Ke. We started with the braised pig ear, which weren't the kind I was familiar with. These were served room temp and were more crunchy than soft, a texture I imagine most Americans will be turned off by. Had there been more of the garlicky, sweet soy on the dish, I think they would have benefited.

I was overjoyed when the street snacks hit the table. We started with the gua bao, pork belly buns, which were meaty chunks of braised pork belly sandwiched between steam bread with cilantro, ground peanuts, pickled mustard greens, and a sweet sauce. The pork doesn't have that crunchy outer layer that Hiro's have, but I thought these were still definitely worth ordering.

The Taiwanese have an affinity for tube meat and sticky rice. It's the Asian version of a hot dog and bun. The sausage itself is a sweeter, fattier dog than you find in pretty much any Western cuisine, making it all the more delicious. Diabetics thought they were cool to eat hot dogs, but not in Taiwan! The sausage is drizzled with the chef's secret sauce (it's like a Chinese ketchup, almost) and some cilantro. I love these.

Finally, we have the fried pork chop. It's a pork chop with a crunchy five-spice infused breading. You're goddamn right it's good.

tai ke sticky rice sausage taiwanese st.louis

The entrees were just as solid as the starters. The Three Cup chicken is a steaming bowl of chopped chicken in a deeply flavorful sauce of rice wine, soy sauce, sesame oil, roasted garlic, ginger, and Chinese basil. I imagine Chinese and Taiwanese grandmas across America started making their versions of this this past week to help fight the cold.

The sizzling bean curd comes out hissing and bubbling like the fajita platter at Chili's, except it actually tastes good. The tofu is fried, then put on a cast iron platter with bell peppers, onions, snow peas, and leeks. It sounds like your typical stir fry, but I thought the sauce was fantastic.

tai ke taiwanese st.louis three cup chicken

Both the mapo tofu and spicy shrimp stir fry were both leaps and bounds better than their descriptions would make you think (and compared to most Chinese restaurants around). The mapo tofu had a nice level of heat to it thanks to chili oil and Szechuan peppercorns and the shrimp, labeled as "hot" with 3 chili peppers, wasn't nearly as spicy as I feared it might be. The flavor of the dish was spot on thanks to a hearty helping of roasted garlic, scallions and more Szechuan peppercorns. Roasted garlic makes every dish better.

Out of all the new Chinese restaurants I've gone to this year, this was the most solid first impression I've had. There's not one dish up there I wouldn't recommend (well, maybe the pig ear plate). Eating there did what any good meal should do: it left me full, happy, and wanting more. The famous Taiwanese braised beef noodle soup will be my next order.

The restaurant is tucked away behind a shopping center off Olive Blvd., right near Dao Tien, and I highly recommend you make reservations. We went on a Wednesday night and saw tons of people get turned away due to the 30+ minute wait.

Tai Ke

8604 Olive Blvd

St. Louis, MO 63132

314.801.8894

Spencer 11/23/15 Spencer 11/23/15

Bolyard Burger Battle: Poletti vs. McMillen

There are a lot of reasons to hate the onset of winter—the bitter cold, people who can't drive when there's bad weather, shoveling snow—but none of those make me as angry as not being able to go to any more Bolyard's Burger Battles until spring. The first battle pitted Brasserie's Nick Blue against Annie Gunn's Andrew Jennrich; the camaraderie and friendship between these two chefs sickened me. I wanted to see trash-talking and sabotaging. I thought that maybe putting Sidney Street Cafe's Justin McMillen against Pastaria's Josh Poletti would do the trick. As you can see from the picture below, it did not:

bolyard's burger battle chefs poletti mcmillen

Disgusting. These two were even more complimentary and friendly than the last two! I wanted Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon, but alas, we can't always get what we want.

Unlike the previous battle, we got to see two different patties this time around. For McMillen's "Maw and Paw Burger," he had Chris Bolyard grind braunschweiger into the meat, then topped it with a pickled mustard seed and onion slaw, white cheddar, and a pretzel aioli (we'll come back to this). Poletti, a man who embraces fatty foods like few chefs I know, had his "Mississippi Burger" ground with bone marrow, which was finished off with sweet churned pickles, white BBQ sauce, onion rings, and American cheese.

Preparation (click the photos to open a gallery and see them larger): pickle slicing, patty making, butter melting, Busch drinkin'. And the winner's prize: The Golden Pig Skull!

Once the final preparations were complete, everyone moved outside and began setting up the burger and fry cooking stations. Bolyard himself took the reigns of the thick cut French fries, frying them in the sweet, sweet beef tallow that all battle attendees have come to know and love. Even if you're not a burger eater, coming to one of these battles and just drinking beer and eating Bolyard's fries would be a delicious experience.

Bolyard took it upon himself to once again light the enormous grill, and within minutes, it was as hot as the sun. I was sweating because of it and I wasn't even close to it!

The rest of the Bolyard's team finished up the final touches, like setting up the check-in table and grilling the buns, and then the madness began.

Once the horde of people arrived, it was go time. Like a well-oiled machine, burgers were quickly handed off from chef to the team plating up each burgers on the beautiful Refection buns. After the burgers were completed, Bolyard came through with fistfuls of searing hot fries. What a badass.

The Burgers:

Both burgers were excellent, in my opinion—though I won't tell which one I voted for. McMillen's patty was my favorite of the two, thanks to the braunschweiger giving it a slightly livery taste. I know that probably doesn't sound very appealing, but I think it makes for a unique burger eating experience, especially when paired with the pickled mustard seeds and onions. And let's not forget about the pretzel aioli. My god, that was a tasty sauce. I told him that it needs to be used at Sidney Street ASAP. I could dip fries in that all day. I was worried that his heavily German influenced burger would be too fancy for the battle, but it was a huge hit.

Unfortunately for McMillen, it wasn't as big of a hit as Poletti's—though the votes were close. His take on a more classic cheeseburger won the people over. Before the battle even began, I was snacking on those sweet, thick cut pickles with the white BBQ sauce (you may recall that I fell in love with it a year ago) in the back of the Bolyard's shop—once they were both on the burger, along with gooey American cheese and crunchy onion rings, it was pretty much game over. Gluttony and excess won out.

I can't wait for next spring's battles (but my body can).

Spencer 11/20/15 Spencer 11/20/15

5 Cookbook Necessities

Cookbooks are an easy gift for the holidays, but which ones to get? The onslaught of new cookbooks is never ending. My in-depth researched has taught me two things: avoid the new seasonal cookbook from your favorite Food Network 'chef' (it's like the crappy Christmas album bands put out) and stay away from celebrity cookbooks. I don't know why people think that recipes from Smash Mouth, Al Roker, or Kris Jenner are going to be good. They're not. Don't even get them as a 'funny' gift for a friend. They're just going to get thrown into the trash where they belong. You wouldn't buy Mario Batali's guide to tennis, would you?

Instead, you want to go for quality cookbooks. The kind that you'll be able to reference for years and years. Here are my recommendations for 5 great cookbooks that will make great gifts for your friends and family—or, better yet, for you.

The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science

J. Kenji Lopez-Alt (IG, Twitter)

I would go so far as to say that this book is not only the best cookbook of 2015, but also a modern home cook necessity. Kenji Lopez-Alt is the Managing Culinary Director of Serious Eats, the best food website there is, and the work he put into this 1,000 page epic is nothing short of impressive. He explains the science behind his recipes and techniques, helping the home cook have a better understanding of what makes the food taste great.

If reading all those words is too hard, skip the explanations and just hit the recipes. I guarantee you'll see an increase in cooking compliments. Get this—it's the 21st century's Joy of Cooking.

Amazon, $27

The New Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone

Deborah Madison

I was tired of scouring every cookbook and website for vegetable dishes that weren't just roasted or sauteed with some butter, which led me to Deborah Madison's vegetarian cooking bible. Finally, I could do something interesting with all my CSA veggies! A huge chunk of the 700-page book is separated by vegetable, which makes deciding what to do with that kohlrabi much easier.

The book also includes recipes for a plethora of sauces, dressings, desserts, and more. Just because it's vegetarian doesn't mean it's healthy. Just look at Prince Fielder!

Amazon, $28

Hot and Hot Fish Club

Chris and Idie Hastings with Katherine Cross (IG, Twitter)

This is a must have for anyone looking to impress with fine Southern cooking. Multiple award winner Hot and Hot Fish Club is located in Birmingham, Alabama and owned by the husband and wife team of Chris and Idie Hastings. The book is uniquely separated by month, which results in recipes that are focused on showcasing the best of each season.

This isn't a book for the casual home cook. If you're the kind of person who likes to host dinners that your friends will talk about for weeks, this is for you.

Amazon, $30

chris hasting hot and hot fish club cookbook

Smoke And Pickles

Edward Lee (IG, Twitter)

This book came out in 2013, but I didn't get my hands on it until December 2014, just after a phenomenal meal at chef Ed Lee's Milkwood restaurant. I bought it for one reason: I needed to know how to make his "Black BBQ," an intense mix of Asian (black bean paste, sesame oil) and Southern (bourbon, cola) ingredients that resulted in a thick, spicy BBQ sauce. It has remained one of my secret weapons ever since.

The book is full of great stories and even better recipes, a mix of Asian and Southern food that speaks to me like few other combinations can. His Filipino adobo fried chicken and waffles is incredible, and his Bourbon-and-coke meatloaf has become a family staple.

Amazon, $18

Tacos

Alex Stupak and Jordana Rothman (IG, Twitter)

I wasn't sure that a book solely focused on tacos was going to be worth getting, but boy, I was wrong. Stupak's writing reminds me of my own, so of course I enjoyed that, but his passion for tacos and creativity shine through. The first half the of the book runs through how to properly make corn and flour tortillas (including a version using raw chicken), as well as how to make a ton of salsas, moles, and other sauces.

The second half is taco focused, ranging from classics like carnitas and barbacoa to a cheeseburger taco, a buffalo chicken taco, and a pastrami taco. I'm slowly making my way through it, but everything I've made out of it so far has been incredibly delicious. Plus, Evan Sung's photos are amazing.

Amazon, $18

alex stupak jordana rothman tacos cookbook

Spencer 11/11/15 Spencer 11/11/15

Private Kitchen

2015 has quietly been a good year for St. Louis' Chinese food scene. We lost the always interesting Szechuan Pavilion (again), but we gained Tai Ke Taiwanese, Yummy17, Private Kitchen, Lona's Lil Eats (in late 2014, really), and revamps of Lulu's, Jia Xiang, Corner 17, and Joy Luck Buffet. Lona's has enjoyed continuous hype and publicity since they opened, though Private Kitchen seems to be the Asian restaurant du jour. The concept is unique to St. Louis, as far as I know, in that it's reservation only, you must place your order beforehand (they pick up the ingredients the day of your visit), and it's operated and owned by a husband and wife. He's the chef, she's front of house.

As soon as the reviews, Tweets, and Facebook posts started popping up about Private Kitchen, I knew I had to go. There was so much hype, it had me wondering: is this The One? Will St. Louis finally have a Chinese restaurant that will put all others to shame?

I've visited a few times now and I'm going to have to say no, this is not that restaurant. At this point, without having tried Corner 17 or a proper meal at Tai Ke, I would say that it does go in my Top 3 Chinese restaurants in town, along with Yummy17 and Jia Xiang.

The food is Shanghaiese, which often (but not always) means a heavy reliance on sugar and sweetened sauces, and that is my biggest qualm with it: it's just too sweet for my taste.

Their xiao long bao (soup dumplings) are easily the best I've had in St. Louis. If you don't know about soup dumplings, read this. Private Kitchen's don't hold a candle to Din Tai Fung or Paradise Dynasty across the world, but they're more than passable. The skin is soft but sturdy enough to hold the piping hot soup and meatball and the soup itself has almost a truffle flavor to it. If you've never had a soup dumpling, these are a must try.

The black mushroom and bok choy is a simple dish done very well, with each mushroom acting like an edible sponge full of delicious broth. The smoked salmon was a very literal version: raw salmon rolled around fruit salad, stuck under a glass full of smoke. It was my least favorite of everything I ate at Private Kitchen, but I respect the new attempt at a Jewish deli classic.

The three entrees I would recommend you get start with the squirrel fish. The fish is deboned, then each filet is cut into little slices (while still connected to the fish), then deep fried and served with something close to a sweet and sour sauce. I imagine it's a pain to prepare, but the end product is worth the work. It's like having fish french fries!

There's a page of the menu (found on their Facebook page) that is in Chinese only. Ask for dishes off of that. Highlights from it include the sweet and tangy shell-on shrimp dish, which I made a mess peeling my first visit. I found out on the return that you just eat the whole thing, shell and all.

I can't imagine there's a dish that's much worse for you than the beef, also found on the Chinese page. Cubes of meat are fried and tossed in a soy and sugar sauce. It's like popcorn beef, but even more addicting because of the sweetness. We got this dish at both meals, and both times the beef was gone in about 2 minutes.

The crab and lobster both came in similar sauces—some mix of ginger, scallions, and sweetness. They're both good, but nothing special (aside from the dragon's head carrot with the lobster). If you're looking for whole crab or lobster at an Asian restaurant, I much prefer Mai Lee's.

If you're looking for authentic Chinese food in a more intimate setting, Private Kitchen is where you should be going. The food is better than most of what you'll find in St. Louis, and I can guarantee there are some dishes you haven't had before. If you've got a sweet tooth, you'll love it, but those with savory palates and diabetes aren't going to be fans. When you call to make your reservation and order, don't worry about looking at the menu. Order yourself some soup dumplings, then tell them what you like. Besides the dishes above, they have lamb, chicken, and duck available, as well.

Let me know what you think about your meal there. You can leave a comment below or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Private Kitchen

8106 Olive Blvd

University City, MO 63130

314.989.0283

Spencer 11/9/15 Spencer 11/9/15

Pita Plus

I go to Pita Plus for two reasons: to eat falafel and to talk to the owner. Every time I walk in, it's the exact same conversation.

"Hello! What can I get you?"

"I'd like the falafel platter (or, occasionally, falafel pita)."

"Pita. White or wheat?"

"Wheat."

"Pita. Wheat. Okay. You want borek? Is very good."

"No, just the falafel today."

"We have potato borek, cheese borek, chicken borek, spinach borek..."

"That's okay, I don't need the extra calories."

"Okay. So...no borek?"

The truth is that I want a borek. Very much so. It should be obvious from reading this blog that I am a disgusting glutton who can't say no to buttery, wonderful food. I feel guilty even looking at those stuffed phyllo pockets, though. In my fatter days, I used to scarf a borek down as I drove home with my sandwich. I still feel the shame.

Usually the owner has nothing to say after the borek discussion, but occasionally he'll be in a talkative mood. One time he wanted to know why I was taking pictures of my food, and when I told him I had a blog where I wrote about food he asked "Why?" then laughed to himself. Once he asked me not to speak until he was done checking out a woman walking to her car.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: Pita Plus' falafel is what you need to be getting. They show up on the table (on classy styrofoam plates) looking like brown and green ping pong balls, but then you crack through their crunchy exterior and that fluffy neon green interior calls you in. Their mix of chickpeas with onion, garlic, fresh herbs, and a mountain of spices—these have a hint of heat to them—is tough to top. Especially when slathered in tzatziki and their sweat-inducing chili sauce.

The platter comes with pita bread (white or wheat?), a Middle Eastern salad, pickles, olives, and hummus.

Get a borek while you're there, too. It'll make him feel good. My favorite goes to the potato.

Spencer 11/4/15 Spencer 11/4/15

Lunch Pick: La Tejana Taqueria

I have a tendency to get obsessed—with a specific dish, a restaurant, a chef, or, more often, a cuisine. A few weeks back, I watched a video of chef Alex Stupak making these incredible looking al pastor and immediately ordered his brand spankin' new Tacos. I started dreaming of tacos. That lead to a dinner at La Tejana, then a lunch at La Tejana, then visiting the taco stand at El Morelia, a trip to Publico, and so on. I know some people think that Taqueria Durango, La Vallesana, or Taqueria Bronco are better than Tejana, which is totally fine. They're all legit taco makers and I would happily eat tacos at any of them. I just happen to enjoy Tejana and the staff more than the other places.

Here are some quick picks for your next visit:

Al pastor quesadillas: This is a no-brainer. Tejana's al pastor is a delicious mix of spicy pork and sweet pineapple. Put that between two tortillas with gooey cheese? Duh.

Tacos: You can go healthy and eat a chicken taco and a veggie taco (top photo), or you can go big time and get some meat! I switch it up every time I go, which is easy when they have steak, carnitas, cow head (the only one I don't like), tongue, chorizo, tinga (chorizo/chicken), campechano (steak/chorizo), al pastor, chicken, pork skin, and barbacoa. Make sure to ask for the green salsa too.

Everything Verde: Tejana has daily specials, but none are as special as the mole verde or the pozole verde. Both dishes rely heavily on the use of tomatillos; as far as which I prefer, I lean towards the pozole verde. It's like my mom's chicken noodle soup if she was Mexican instead of Eastern European. The bites of hominy that have been plumped up with chicken broth (and wonderful chicken fat) and tomatillo are heavenly. Definitely a great choice for a cold winter's day or if you're feeling under the weather.

La Tejana Taqueria

3149 N. Lindbergh Blvd

Bridgeton, MO 63074

314.291.8500

Spencer 10/28/15 Spencer 10/28/15

Little Serow

If you're wandering down 17th Street NW in D.C. trying to find the signless Little Serow, just look for the enormous line—that starts forming at 4:30pm—leading to an ordinary old basement door. There were a number of reasons that Little Serow (sounds like arrow) was on my must-try list this last visit to our nation's capital: the chef-owner is Johnny Monis, who also owns the untouchable Komi next door. The food is authentic northern Thai food, something near and dear to my heart. Plus, both Gerard Craft and Nini Nguyen told me to go. I'm a good listener.

There are no reservations. You get there, get in line, then wait your turn. Once you make it inside, you'll be greeted by darkness and bright teal walls. You don't order anything besides drinks—it's a $45 set menu. You sit, it starts.

The chefs work in a small kitchen to the left, close enough where you can see them but far enough away that you probably won't go bother them. We were seated at the long white bar (which I recommend aiming for) and excitedly got things kicked off. The first dish out was the Nam Prik Thai Orn, a spicy chili sauce made with salted fish, shrimp paste, and green peppercorns.

There's a whole mess of nam prik varieties, including the roasted green chili nam prik noom you can find at Fork & Stix, all of which are meant to be eaten as either a condiment or a dipping sauce. It's like the funky Thai version of ranch dressing, in that sense.

The Thai Orn had a deep, peppery flavor with a mild hit of shrimp paste. Paired with the veggies—or, better yet, the pork rinds—it was a perfect start to the meal. It assured me that what we were eating was nothing but authentic, the kind of food you rarely see in the U.S.

Our next two courses, the Ma Hor (sour fruit, dried shrimp, pork) and Yam Makheua Yao (eggplant, cured duck egg, mint), arrived together. We dug into the sour fruit plate first, a wonderful mix of sour and sweet. Every bite of this took me back to eating near the beaches of Southeast Asia, sitting out in the the tropical weather.

The Yam Makheua Yao brought back a different set of memories. After my first forkful of smokey eggplant, my body lit on fire from the inside out. Flashes of a misunderstanding with a Thai food stall in Singapore flooded my mind. I had tried to ask for my Som Tom salad less spicy, but apparently all she heard was MORE spicy. The result was me abandoning my lunch in a hurry, running to Starbucks to get something milky to relieve me of the burning pain in my mouth.

I wasn't going to bail on Serow for Starbucks, but like an angel sent from on high, our waitress appeared and asked if we were interested in their sweetened rice milk to help us cool down. Never has a drink tasted so good. It was like a Thai horchata. We each ended up drinking 3 or 4 glasses of that sweet nectar of the gods.

Laap Pla Duk Chiang Mai is not the prettiest dish by any stretch of the imagination, but this catfish and galangal salad is a winner. If my tastebuds were correct, it's kind of like all Thai ingredients blended together with grilled fish. Lemongrass, chilies, galangal—it punches you in the face with flavor. You can eat it with your fork, or you can spread it over cabbage, sticky rice, or whatever vegetable you prefer.

The runner up for favorite dish of the night went to the Tow Hu Thouk, crispy tofu tossed with ginger and peanuts. It was a fantastic mix of crisp and creamy. We definitely could have eaten another one of these.

We didn't eat much of the Het Grapao, stir fried mushrooms with basil and egg. The flavors were good—it's a vegetarian version of of the basil chicken I'd get in Singapore—but at that point it felt too heavy, and the strong soy flavor was killing my tropical buzz.

The best came last. In fact, it was the best thing I ate the entire time I was in D.C. Si Krong Muu, pork ribs with Mekhong whiskey and dill. I was surprised to see dill in a Thai dish, but a quick Googling revealed that northeastern Thailand does, in fact, use dill fairly often. The flavor was unreal.

Seriously. This has to be in my 10 top favorite things I've eaten this year. We were so full by the time they came, but still managed to polish these off. The meat, finished with a nice char, fell right off the bone. Like so many Thai dishes, the flavor was all over—sweet, sour, charred, bitter, herbaceous—but it's absolutely perfect. I thought I preferred my ribs smoked and slathered in BBQ sauce, but it turns out I was wrong.

The meal came to a close with these tiny glutinous rice squares topped with coconut cream and toasted sesame seeds, a perfect final note for the evening.

If you're an Asian food lover, Little Serow should be at the top of your list of places to go. Sure, you'll probably be eating dinner at 5:00pm like an elderly person, but it's well worth the sacrifice.

Little Serow

1511 17th Street NW

Washington DC 20036

note@littleserow.com

Spencer 10/26/15 Spencer 10/26/15

Union Loafers

I'd heard the rumors for nearly two years: Ted Wilson is going to open a bakery, they'd say. It's going to be by La Patisserie Chouquette and Olio, they'd whisper. Ted's bread is better than any bread you've had before, they assured me. Years went by and not once did I see this mysterious Ted Wilson, nor did I find his bread anywhere. I'd sit at Chouquette staring longingly at the empty shop across the street while Patrick and Simone consoled me with caneles and frangipane. I gave up hope. I moved on. I filled that calorific deficit with fried chicken.

Then the flood of texts and tweets came: Ted had appeared in our time of need, much like Jesus or Gandalf, and he had bread in tow. Union Loafers was here!

It took me 2 weeks to get over to Loafers—leave off Union, like the cool guys do—which gave my chef and 'foodie' (I hate that word) friends plenty of time to ridicule me for not going there immediately.

To be honest, I didn't rush because I just didn't see how a bakery and sandwich shop could be that good.

It is that good. I don't know what Ted (and Brian Lagerstrom, formerly of Niche) do to their bread, but they've got me carbo-loading like I've got a race to run.

Loafers offers six bread options at the moment—I bought them all. I've never walked out of a bakery with a bag that not only was big enough to fit a toddler in, but weighed as much. They also have a constantly evolving lunch menu made up of salad, soup, and sandwiches.

I had just watched Brian prepare a batch of pork for the oven in the back, so I had to go with the Roasted Pork Sandwich, served on a small ciabatta roll (ciabattini, son). It may sound like any sandwich you'd get at Panera or Whole Foods—roasted pork with country ham, gruyere cheese, pickles, mustard, and a garlic mayo—but it's not. It'd be like saying a Toyota is the same as an Aston Martin just because they both have wheels, doors, and an engine.

This is a lumberjack sized sandwich with meat piled up high. If you're new to eating sandwiches without processed meat or vegetables that had been vacuum sealed weeks before, you may be shocked at the wonderful flavors and textures, but don't be alarmed. This is what a ham sandwich should taste like.

Other sandwich offerings include turkey & swiss, ham & cheddar, smoked beets, and almond butter and raspberry jam. I got serious order envy seeing one of the nut butter sandwiches get delivered.

Of all my food weaknesses, few can compete with what happens when I'm near sweet, sweet carbs. In my earlier days as a fat youth, I'd come home from school and chowdown on a bagel or whatever bread we had in the house like there was no tomorrow. Coming home with pounds of bread and trying to hide it from myself had the same result.

First off, the Rye bread: organic whole rye, organic sifted wheat, caraway seeds (there's something about caraway that sings to my Jewish soul, much like Neil Diamond), sea salt and water. It's airy and hearty, screaming to be sliced and covered in some kind of meat. I felt myself morphing into a New York Jew as I ate this, looking for chopped liver or smoked tongue to put on.

The Light & Mild is what I'd describe as an everyday bread. It's base is nearly the same as the rye, just omitting the caraway and using whole wheat instead of rye, but that makes all the difference in the world. It's...well, lighter and milder.

Ciabatta is much less exciting than the other two to me, but still—tasty.

While the breads above are wonderful and perfectly suitable for expanding your waistline and thighs, the bakery's 'snacks' are much, much sexier. The comically sized pretzel didn't even make it home. I started eating it as soon as I walked out the door and by the time I walked in the door, I was just flicking the salt flakes off my shirt. It's soft. It's pretzely. It goes fantastically well with their housemade grain mustard. If they add a cheese sauce to the menu, I'll have to bring a change of pants with me every time I go.

The pizzas, formally known as pizza rosa and cheesy bread, give the pretzel a run for its money. I watched Ted make both as I slobbered on the floor of the bakery like a dog. He foolishly set them in front of me to let them cool. I had visions of just taking the whole pie (loaf? sheet?) and running out the door, but Ted seems like he's fit enough to catch me.

Pizza rosa is simple tomato and chili oil slice, while the cheesy bread is a lot like the breadsticks you get from Dominos/Papa Johns if they were fucking unreal. When I got home, I tried every bread. I cut myself a slice of the cheesy bread. I cut myself a slice of the rosa. I triumphantly put the cheesy bread in some tupperware and set it aside.

One hour later I snuck back downstairs and finished both the rosa and cheesy bread.

I've never been hungrier writing a post. Brb. Heading to Loafers.

Union Loafers

1629 Tower Grove Ave

St. Louis, MO 63110

314.833.6111

Spencer 10/22/15 Spencer 10/22/15

Byrd & Barrel

A few years back, St. Louis got hooked on the idea of frozen yogurt. Everywhere you turned, a new place popped up. Yogoluv, FroYo, Chill, Red Mango dotted the city (or mostly the 'burbs, I guess) like pimples on a teenagers face. Two years later, barely any are open. Shockingly, people didn't want to eat a delicious frozen treat the 6 months of the year that it's goddamn freezing here. As the yogurt trend melted away, something new emerged: good quality BBQ shops. Tired of the garbage that is Bandana's, St. Louisans flocked to Pappy's and Sugarfire, both of which have expanded rapidly and successfully. It came as a shock to no one (except for vegans probably, but no one cares what they think) that people loved to be able to eat fantastic BBQ whenever and wherever they were.

It's like everyone collectively acknowledged that we, as Midwesterners, love huge portions of food with buckets of flavor. BBQ was the gateway drug—the next wave is fried chicken.

It seems that if there's one thing Josh Galliano taught his young Padawans at Monarch, The Libertine, and An American Place, it's how to expertly pull off fried chicken. His proteges include Rick Lewis, the man behind Southern, and Bob Brazell, the dude who decided to refurbish an old Popeye's and make it Byrd & Barrel.

Both Lewis and Brazell opened restaurants this summer, both with a focus on god's greatest gift to mankind, fried chicken. Southern's focus is on Nashville Hot Chicken and comfort food, while Byrd aims to use gourmet fried chicken in a whole mess of ways.

Months ago, Brazell (whose team includes former Gallianites Tommy "Salami" Andrews, Will "Tugboat" Volny, and Ryan "Ryan" Mcdonald) told me some of the ideas he was kicking around for his menu. The one that got my engine revved up right away was the South Side Poutine. B&B substitutes the fries typically seen in the dish with big tater tot balls, tasting like Waffle House hashbrowns that have been clumped together and deep fried. The balls are topped with tender smoked chicken, cheese curds, chicken (or mushroom) gravy, and chives.

If I ever make a "Top 10 Drunk Foods" for St. Louis, this will be at the top. Cheese, gravy, fried, meat. Winner.

It was a nice surprise to see that their chicken skins aren't done the way every restaurant seems to do it—that is to say, copy what Sean Brock's Husk has done and just dust them in a spicy southern seasoning. Instead, these skins are drizzled with a General Tso's style sauce, giving them a little tang and sweetness. Not eating this entire plate of skins took a LOT of mental fortitude.

Feeling guilty about our first two dishes, I had to throw some vegetables in. The roasted cauliflower came with toasted cashews, grana padano cheese, salsa verde, and a slightly spicy peppadew aioli. The plating style keeps with the other dishes of being sort of a controlled mess on the plate, but the flavors are clearly from experienced chefs. I would get these again, without a doubt.

If you can emphatically say that you love chicken livers, then you must get the banh mi. This is the most chicken livery thing I've eaten in St. Louis, and that includes all the chicken liver mousses. Crispy fried livers are tucked into french bread and topped with pickled carrots, cilantro, jalapeños, cucumbers, and aioli, like every other banh mi.

The one thing you must get your first time at B&B is the Mother Clucker: a giant, juicy, wonderful, fried chicken thigh topped with caramelized onions, a sweet and spicy pepper jelly, and provel cheese whiz (just typing that makes me aroused). To finish, Red Hot Riplets are delicately placed on top.

I've already vowed to name my first born (male or female) Bob Brazell Pernikoff because of this sandwich.

I knew going into the meal that I'd love Bob's thighs, but I had no idea how much I'd love his pickle.

The Tickled Pickle is probably the most ridiculous dish I've seen in St. Louis. A hot dog is stuffed in a pickle, then breaded and fried like a corn dog. It's preposterous, but it works so well. Dipped in the housemade sriracha grain mustard, it's perfect. I think for that drunk meal I mentioned before, the poutine would be my starter and this would be my entree.

I was worried about having St. Louis having two new fried chicken places opening at the same time, but now I'm wishing there were more Southerns and Byrd & Barrels all over. One day...

Byrd & Barrel

3422 S Jefferson Ave

St. Louis, MO 63118

314.875.9998

Spencer 10/5/15 Spencer 10/5/15

Shake Shack

I recently went to D.C. under the guise of seeing my brother, his girlfriend, KQ, and their adorable French Bulldog puppy, Taco (for proof, see the bottom of this post). Though, if I'm being honest with you, dear reader, I really went to D.C. because I had a free place to stay and lots of new things to eat. I've gone from world traveling businessman to that guy who shows up at your place and doesn't leave. I'm all about trying the best that D.C. has to offer—Masseria, Little Serow, Kapnos, etc.—but my super secret desire was to finally try Shake Shack. I never imagined I'd write about a chain on here, but there are always exceptions. Especially when the founder, Danny Meyer, is a St. Louisan who also went to the same summer camp that I did, Camp Nebagamon.

Basically, Danny Meyer and I are best friends but he just doesn't know it yet, so of course I'm going to check out my best bud's restaurant chain.

Like most people, I'm a fan of In N' Out. Double-double animal style with animal style fries, please. I like their simplicity, I like their flavors, and I like that things are made fresh. However, we St. Louisans do not have the opportunity to eat at In N' Out, nor Shake Shack. Instead, we have Five Guys and Steak & Shake, which is kind of like getting their fat, pimply, apathetic younger brothers.

I needed to see what the hype was all about.

I hit up the enormously popular Union Station location with KQ, a self proclaimed Shake Shack expert. As we waited, I began noticing the things around me—most notably Mast Brothers chocolate bars and Stumptown coffee. It's pretty surprising to see highly regarded companies like that in a fast food burger chain, though if Chipotle could take a quick Mexican concept that had already been done with great success and make it into something healthier, more sustainable, and with a higher level of quality and customer service, why couldn't a burger chain?

Based on KQ's recommendations, I went with a single Shack Burger, topped with lettuce, tomato, and ShackSauce, an Abita root beer, and we split cheese fries. The most surprising thing happened when our order was ready: the food looked like it did in all their promotional shots. Everything on the burger looked fresh. Bun, lettuce, tomato—it all looked like something made by humans and not a machine.

So, was it everything I dreamed of? Yeah, I think so. I didn't go in with unrealistic expectations of the world's greatest burger. I wanted a tasty fast food burger. Something on par with a Big Kahuna burger. The edges were surprisingly crispy, more so than any fast food burger I can think of, which immediately gave it a big boost in my book. It wasn't Carl's Drive In crispy, of course, but still—impressive. With the creamy, tangy Shack Sauce and the crunchy lettuce, I was a happy diner.

The fries, once a point of contention there, from what I've read, were crunchy and salty, which is 90% of what I look for in a good fry. The cheese sauce wasn't my favorite, though. I was hoping for something cheesier and goopier—theirs was a bit thin and didn't have much of a cheese flavor. Still, I crushed these and made sure to get every last drop of the sauce. Even mediocre cheese sauce is still cheese sauce!

All in all, I liked my meal at Shake Shack and would happily go back there for some cheat-day meals. Can we work out a deal where they replace all the Five Guys here in town? You're from St. Louis, Danny! Where's the hometown love?

As promised, cute puppy pics:

Spencer 9/30/15 Spencer 9/30/15

Artichoke

Part II: Artichoke

Artichoke is the only modern Middle Eastern restaurant I've found in Singapore, but being unique is no reason to love a restaurant. I demand quality!

Artichoke was recommended to us by the chefs at Candlenut, and since they obviously know their way around great food, we trusted them.

I have no idea how Artichoke got the space they're in, but it's a welcome change from eating in another windowless mall basement. Flanked by malls and office towers, the restaurant is housed in a small spot next to a funky former church and an art studio, giving it an enclosed courtyard for diners to sit in.

The restaurant's interior is both bold and homey, much like the food itself. Most of the walls are covered in red and black patterned wallpaper, excluding the back chalkboard wall.

Artichoke Restaurant, Singapore, Interior

Artichoke Restaurant, Singapore: Dining Room

The menu is split into small mezze plates and larger shared plates. We started with three mezze, plus an order of fresh pita bread. The first plate was Beetroot Tzatziki, composed of sweet roasted beets topped with a pistachio dukka, a fat dollop of yogurt, and wormwood. Herbaceous, fresh, creamy—once it was all mixed up into an ugly looking mess, it was killer.

Following the tzatziki came the smoked anchovies. Seeing something smoked in Singapore is rare, so I couldn't resist. The dish was relatively straightforward and simple, with the anchovies resting over cherry tomatoes and olive oil, but the incorporation of seaweed 'caviar' and sumac really hit you with some extra umami.

The final mezze was not good for sharing, mostly because we were just fighting over who got to eat more of it. This was probably the best babaganoush I've ever had the pleasure of eating. Smokey eggplant mixed with sesame, yogurt, and, most importantly, a pomegranate molasses teriyaki. The way the tart sweetness paired with the smokey earthiness—it shut both of us up.

Artichoke Restaurant Singapore Smoked Anchovies

Artichoke Restaurant Singapore: babaganoush

The waitress recommended we get two shared plates, a decision that was made difficult by the fact that all 12 dishes sounded great. The victory ultimately went to the housemade feta 'burrata' and the slow roasted lamb shoulder.

In hindsight, he amount of feta burrata we consumed is fairly disgusting. A mountain of the creamy, salty, sumptuous cheese was set over Turkish toast—a play on Texas toast—plus basil, tomatoes, and pomegranate seeds. It was like the slutty, sexy cousin of a caprese.

I am an absolute glutton for good lamb, especially when it's been braised. Up until this point, the slow roasted lamb shoulder at Kapnos in D.C. was my all-time favorite lamb dish...but that's all changed.

Artichoke Restaurant Singapore Feta Burrata

20165287116_87d7faf297_k — Artichoke Restaurant Singapore Lamb Shoulder

The lamb at Artichoke is absurd. It's a huge bowl filled with meat, tomatoes, dirty onions, zhoug coriander sauce, and a toum garlic sauce. The meat itself was as tender as can be, with a crispy bark on the outside. Once it was all mixed together into a meaty mess, it was just too good. In Pokemon terms, this was like a doner kebab that had reached final form.

To close things out, we had to try one of Artichoke's famed Neh Neh Pops. The Mango Sticky Rice screamed our name: chunk of mango mixed into a coconut rice pudding ice cream, dipped in white chocolate, then sprinkled with toasted coconut flakes and Rice Krispies.

Artichoke Restaurant Singapore ice cream

Let that sink in.

It was so nice to be able to go somewhere with this quality of food in such a casual atmosphere. I had a hard time finding a restaurant where I could just hang out and have great food over there—most seemed to be good for one and not the other. Artichoke handled it swimmingly. If you're looking for a fun place to go for dinner, but don't want to miss out on incredible flavors, you must check out Artichoke.

Spencer 9/28/15 Spencer 9/28/15

The Best of Singapore: Candlenut

Singapore is a food lover's paradise. Everyone knows that by now, thanks to the likes of Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain, and me. The Singaporeans are in constant competition with the Taiwanese and Japanese to see who is more obsessed with food. To say the tiny city-state is chock full of restaurants would be an understatement. As a visitor (and even as a local), the question becomes: where should I eat? Nearly every magazine, TV show, or blog will say one of the following:

It's so cheap! You should just eat at these hawker stalls. You'll only spend $10 a day!

If you like sushi, you must try Waku Ghin. For $400 a person, it's totally worth it.

So those are your options: you either eat outside at a hawker center or spend hundreds of dollars eating at a "celebrity" restaurant.

The country is quickly becoming a playground for celebrity chefs, just like Dubai and Las Vegas. Gordon Ramsay, Mario Batali, Daniel Boulud, Wolfgang Puck, Jamie Oliver—I could go on—they all have restaurants in Singapore now. Some of these are excellent—Batali's Mozza and Boulud's DB Kitchen were both wonderful every time I ate at them, but they're all so heavily hyped by the Singaporean media (both bloggers and professionals), I think Gordon Ramsay could literally shit on a plate and the bloggers would be lining up to take pics and discuss how innovative it is—and how it's so much better than anything Singaporean restaurants are making.

On this last trip, Patricia and I wanted to eat at an unpretentious restaurant with great food, helmed by a local chef. Deciding to do that instead of spending $700 at JAAN proved to be a brilliant move.

The two best meals I had in Singapore this past trip (and quite possibly in all my time there) were at Artichoke, Bjorn Shen's funky modern Middle Eastern eatery, and Candlenut, Malcolm Lee's foray into contemporary Peranakan cuisine. Both restaurants have the fine-casual feel that American restaurants have shifted towards. Service is relaxed and friendly, the atmosphere is fun, and the focus is on creating great food that doesn't require a $250 tasting menu.

These two chefs couldn't be more different. Shen is brash and foul-mouthed. He's like Singapore's own Anthony Bourdain, and honestly, I think Singapore needs a guy like him. Lee, on the other hand, is quiet and contemplative, more like Thomas Keller. These are the two chefs cooking the best and most exciting food I had in Singapore.

Part 1: Candlenut

I can't think of another meal that has floored me quite like my first meal at Candlenut. After 3 years in Singapore, one meal completely shifted my perspective on what Singaporean food was and what it could be.

I knew about Candlenut before eating there, but only so far as knowing that it existed. The cuisine—modern Peranakan—I knew almost nothing about. I just knew they had some type of nut that, if not properly prepared, will kill you. Great!

Peranakan cuisine is a mix of Chinese, Indonesian, and Malay ingredients and cooking styles. Not satisfied with churning out the classics, Candlenut's wunderkind chef Lee is serving up beautiful modern renditions.

It's the most exciting food I ate in Singapore and what I would expect more restaurants to be doing: taking the food the Singapore was built on and letting a team of young chefs make it their own. Visiting chefs and foodies, this needs to be at the top of your list. Not Restaurant Andre.

Below are the menus from our two meals there; you probably won't recognize most of the dishes, but we'll get to that.

18 July Menu

Jiu Hu Char, Homemade Kueh Pie Tee Shell

Warm Relish of Minced Pork, Banana Chili, Dried Shrimp

Wagyu Beef Rib, Buah Keluak Sambal, Turmeric Egg

Tumbuk Prawns, Laksa Leaf, Starfruit

Pong Tauhu Soup, Prawn & Crab Meatball, Shellfish Bisque

Grilled Red Snapper, Dried Shrimp Sambal, Smoked Salt

Baby Sweet Potato Leaf Curry, Sweet Prawns, Crispy Whitebait

Maori Lake Lamb Rack, Dry Red Curry, Roasted Coconut, Kaffir Lime

Wok Fried Wild Baby Squid, Sambal Petai, Fried Shallots

Wing Bean Salad, Baby Radish, Cashew Nuts, Lemongrass, Calamansi Lime Dressing

27 July Menu

Jiu Hu Char, Homemade Kueh Pie Tee Shell

Warm Relish of Minced Pork, Banana Chili, Dried Shrimp

Grilled Spice-Marinated Chicken Satay, Peanut Sauce

Tumbuk Prawns, Laksa Leaf, Starfruit

Rawon Oxtail Soup, Buah Keluak, Fried Shallots

Grilled Red Snapper, Dried Shrimp Sambal, Smoked Sea Salt

Chap Chye Braised Cabbage, Sweet Beancurd Skin, Pork Belly, Prawn Stock

Blue Swimmer Crab, Yellow Turmeric Coconut Curry, Kaffir Lime

Wok Fried Wild Baby Squid, Squid Ink, Tamarind, Chilis

Local Chicken & Black Fungus Kerabu, Gingerflower, Mint, Kerisik

Buah Keluak Ice Cream, Salted Caramel, Warm Chocolate Espuma

"Kueh Salat", Kueh Bangkit, Coconut Sorbet

Candlenut's Signature Chendol Cream, Pandan Jelly, Gula Melaka

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Jiu hu char: dried cuttlefish and vegetable stir fry

Warm relish of minced pork

Tumbuk Prawns, Chicken Satay

Wagyu beef, buah keluak sambal

Buah Keluak is the name of the potentially fatal nut I mentioned, and it is the flavor I'd used to differentiate Peranakan food from all others. It's often referred to as the Asian truffle, given its black color and intense, hard to place flavor. I don't think it's actually similar in flavor at all to a truffle, though. To me, it's like a chocolatey Oaxacan mole.

It was served three ways during our dinners: the first, seen below, was my favorite. Wagyu beef rib, cooked until it was falling apart, sat over a turmeric crepe, accompanied by a spoonful of thick buah keluak sambal. We didn't know what hit us. This single bite was like some Willy Wonka candy that simultaneously tasted like a Mexican mole, a wintry braised beef, and a Southeast Asian sauce.

It was one of the best things I've eaten—not just this year, but ever.

Wing Bean Salads

Pong Tauhu Soup, Chap Chye

Wok-fried Squid

The term 'wok hei' refers to a flavor imparted by cooking in an incredibly hot seasoned wok. Both squid dishes at Candlenut had so much 'wok hei', I almost cried.

The darker dish, cooked with squid ink, had a more earthy, briny taste, but a little tang and sweetness from the tamarind. The other, cooked with a spicy sambal made with petai (otherwise known as bitter beans or stink beans) and fried shallots had a more familiar Southeast Asian flavor that we couldn't stop eating. Spicy and sticky from the sambal, it was just fantastic.

Swimmer Crab Curry, Sweet Potato Leaf Curry

If pizza didn't exist, I think curry would be my favorite food on earth. Americans love curry, yet every Asian menu has just two types: red and green. Get with the times, people. There's a whole world of curry out there!

The blue swimmer crab in a yellow turmeric coconut curry with kaffir lime was a sweet, delightful curry. The curry itself was similar to the one that made me fall in love with Chris Bailey's cooking, but the incorporation of the tender swimmer crab took it to another level. Our other curry, a thicker, vibrantly orange bowl of amazing, was full of baby sweet potato leaves, sweet prawns, then topped with crispy fried whitebait to add crunch.

Both curries were phenomenal, but the upper hand goes to the sweet potato leaf curry with sweet prawns.

Beef Rawon

When we sat down for our second dinner and I saw that there was oxtail soup with buah keluak, I squealed with glee. When it came to the table, things got tense. One bowl was brought to the table. Patricia and I both eyed the bowl, then each other. I knew I was supposed to be a gentleman and let her have it first, share it equally, blah, blah. She knew it too. The thing is...I didn't want to share it. I wanted it all.

Just before we would have gotten into a relationship-ending brawl over the beef, they brought out another bowl. Phew.

It had all the great flavors you'd expect from an oxtail stew; that thick gravy; the meat that's falling apart. Take the best beef stew or braise you've made, then add a few secret Southeast Asian ingredients, then add the chocolatey, bitter buah keluak. What do you get? An orgasm.

Lamb Rack, Red Snapper

Buah Keluak ice cream, Kueh Salat

Oh, dessert. You sexy temptress.

Buah keluak ice cream, you say? Yes, sir. On its own, it was almost too intense; the mix of high grade dark chocolate and the buah keluak almost create the taste of a boozy chocolate milkshake. A bite with the salted caramel, chocolate espuma, and pop rocks evened things out. One of the most intensely chocolate desserts I've had.

Kueh Salat is typically a two-layered gelatinous dessert. The bottom is made of glutinous rice, the top is a green pandan custard. Lee and his team break it down: an intense pandan custard topped with coconut shavings, crushed Kueh Bangkit (coconut cookies), and a coconut sorbet on the side. The coconut sorbet all by itself is almost good enough to be one of my top desserts of the year. This is Singapore in a dish.

Part of why we went back to the restaurant a second time was just for this. The balancing of coconut and the vanilla-ish pandan is just unreal. I would consider this a perfect dish. Of all the desserts I can ever remember eating, I've liked none more than this.

Chendol Cream

The photos may look like any decent Asian restaurant's, but I can assure you all the flavors were far beyond any I've had before. If Candlenut was in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, or even St. Louis (well, probably not), it would completely booked every night. If you're a Singaporean or planning to visit Singapore, you must go.

When I was picking my Top 5 Desserts and Top 10 Entrees this year, it was hard not to include more of Candlenut's dishes. I always sway towards Asian-influenced desserts, and all 3 we had could have made the list. This was, and still is, the best meal I've had this year.

Check back Wednesday for a post on Artichoke.

Spencer 9/24/15 Spencer 9/24/15

Bolyard's Burger Throwdown

The skies were more than ominous on August 22nd—there was no denying a storm was coming. I left my house at 5:15 PM, and by 5:17, the skies erupted. Manchester Road became more river than road in spots. My confidence that the Bolyard's Burger Throwdown would be starting at 6 PM was low, even if their Facebook page stated it was happening rain or shine. As I rolled up to Bolyard's, the skies cleared and the rain stopped. The burger gods were watching down upon us.

The battle that was about to take place was sure to be epic. Nick Blue, chef of Brasserie, prepared to battle Andrew Jennrich, butcher extraordinaire at Annie Gunn's.

Blue went with a Bibimbap Burger: a Bolyard's patty topped with pickled vegetables, a fried quail egg, and a piquant gochujang mayo. Jennrich gave his patty a spicy rub, then covered it with heirloom tomatoes, shaved lettuce, bread & butter pickles, remoulade dressing, and a hefty piece of andouille to create his Po Boy Burger.

The winner of the battle would be decided by the people. Each diner would get a ballot when they checked in (along with drink coupons to get Perennial Artisan Ale!). After the burgers were served, the people would decide who should win the Golden Pig Skull and who would have their hand lopped off by the master butcher himself (okay, that part isn't true). The pressure both Blue and Jennrich felt could only be described as immense.

I couldn't wait to get their meat into my mouth.

Let's check out the play-by-play.

The final plating. Two hefty sliders, plus Bolyard's mind-blowing beef tallow fries. Before even discussing the burger, I must explain how good these fries were. Think of the tastiest fries you've ever had. Now make them taste even better. It was sort of like the movie Inglourious Basterds: I went in excited to see Brad Pitt and Melanie Laurent and left talking about Christoph Waltz. So what I'm saying is these french fries were as good as Christoph Waltz, and he won the Oscar that year.

I won't say which way I voted, but both burgers pleased my palate. Even though they were inspired by completely different parts of the world, both had similar elements. They each had some heat (creole seasoning/gochujang mayo), a creamy element (remoulade/quail egg), and a vegetable crunch (pickles & lettuce/pickled vegetables). I would happily eat both burgers again.

In the end, Nick Blue took home the Golden Pig Skull. Will we see a Jennrich v. Blue rematch one day? I think, perhaps, this is the start to a great trilogy.

Be on the look out for more Bolyard's Burger Throwdowns in the near future. Who do you want to see battle it out next?

Spencer 9/21/15 Spencer 9/21/15

Farmhaus

Even I make mistakes sometimes. Earlier this summer, I had a fantastic dinner at Farmhaus. I came ready, camera in hand. As the Vietnamese chicken wings hit the table, I picked up my Nikon D750, got into position, then...nothing. For the first time in my food blogging career, I forgot to put the battery in my camera. Embarrassing.

Not one to make the same mistake twice (except for all the times I've done that), I triple checked my camera before last week's trip to Farmhaus. Battery, memory cards, lens: it was all there.

Not documenting a meal at Farmhaus is a shame. Farm-to-table dining has grown in St. Louis, but nowhere makes me feel that more than Farmhaus. Their relatively simple menu changes with what's in season or what chef Willmann caught on his fishing trip.

Places like Niche and Sidney Street are also using seasonal ingredients, of course, but the food at Farmhaus has a more casual, homey feel to it. This includes the staples; you'll always find the bacon-wrapped meatloaf and "breakfast", but the dish components are different every time (I still look back lovingly at the time they had blood sausage with their Breakfast plate).

Their roasted Ozark Forest mushroom salad is a must-order for us. The thing has huge hunks of Baetje Farms' mild goat cheese, toasted pecans, roasted mushrooms, and a warm bacon vinaigrette. Fucking up a salad with those ingredients—especially a bacon vinaigrette!—would be hard.

It seems that we came on a day where chef Kevin Willmann and his team had just gotten a big shipment of a blue crabs in, seeing as 3 of the apps had them in them. Our flight of crab started with blistered shishito peppers and crab claws, topped with katsuobushi (bonito flakes) and a citrusy ponzu sauce. I never had anything quite like this in Japan, but I could totally see it being served at a bar in Tohoku.

I can't believe I've never had fried crab claws before. The so-called "crab cocktail fingers" were lightly battered and served with a citrusy yuzu mayo. I'm totally stealing this idea.

The "West Indies", a dish composed of lump crab meat, compressed watermelon, corn, jalapeños, and lime was my least favorite of the whole meal. I love simplicity, like the fried claws, but this just didn't have any strong flavors to it. It reminded me of something I'd make with leftovers after a crab boil.

I'm fairly certain the porchetta bao have been on the Farmhaus menu in one form or another for quite some time, but I'd never had them before. Time to change that! It was like eating a corned beef and sauerkraut sandwich at a non-Kosher Asian deli.

The guy at the table next to us didn't like his. I wish he'd given them to me.

Even though Farmhaus has a number of meat options, I always, always go for their fish entrees. They've just got 'the touch' with seafood. The meaty Gulf red grouper was grilled beautifully, served with a local vegetable succotash and spoonbread (I would happily eat a plate of just Farmhaus spoonbread). The sauce was a preserved tomato creme, which paired perfectly the fish and veg.

Farmhaus' pastry chef, Sarah Mispagel, killed it with her sweet corn cake dessert. Growing up, we'd often have cornbread with dinner, which I would smother with blackberry jelly and/or honey. This is essentially that, made into a fancy little dessert with blackberry ice cream and sunflower seed streusel. There was nothing left.

Every time I eat at Farmhaus, I think to myself, "I should eat here more often." That sentiment still stands.

Spencer 9/14/15 Spencer 9/14/15

Wee Nam Kee

[two_third]You're a tourist in Singapore looking to try some of that chicken rice you've heard of. The guide books & blogs say to go to Maxwell Food Centre and go to Tian Tian Chicken Rice.

You can do that, if you want. The result will be you waiting in line for 30-45 minutes in the sweltering tropical heat of Singapore, then fighting to find a table, then sweating even more as you eat your spicy chicken rice (because you are dipping it in the chili sauce, right?).

Or you can go to the Marina Square mall—you're in Singapore, so I'm sure you're shopping—and eat great chicken rice in an air-conditioned restaurant. It's not like you can tell the difference between Tian Tian and any other decent chicken rice anyway, right?

The other nice thing about going to Wee Nam Kee (WNK) is that since it's an actual restaurant, they have a decently sized menu, and everything I've had there has been pretty good. Service is consistently terrible, but I almost like it more because of it. No waitress is coming to your table without you flagging them down. Most orders are answered with a grunt. Maybe smiling isn't allowed here?

After trying most of the menu, our standard order became half a roasted chicken in their sweet-savory soy sauce, kang kong greens in sambal, and cereal prawns, which is exactly what we got this last trip.

Once you place your order, you'll get a little sauce bowl and a tray of condiments. This includes a thick chili sauce, pounded ginger, pickled green chilies, sticky dark soy sauce, plus normal soy sauce. Everyone has their own chicken rice sauce preference. You'll see from my bowl below that I try to go half ginger, half chili, then a quick dab of the dark soy. The result is spicy, sweet, and it has that bright ginger burn. Perfect.

I'm not sure if it's a total ang moh move or not, but I like to take my sauce mix and pour it all over my fatty, chicken stock cooked rice. That way I can get all the flavors in every bite.

Just look at that chicken. You're not getting chicken that pretty at the hawker center. The roasted skin has this delicious flavor of, well, chicken skin, plus the soy. The meat is as tender as any chicken I've had before. I give it a good dip in the soy, then I drop it onto my plate so I can scoop it up with my now disgusting looking sauce and rice mix. It's truly one of the best bites you'll have in Singapore.

Wee Nam Kee Chili Garlic Sauce Singapore

Wee Nam Kee's sambal kang kong is something I've never been able to replicate. Sambal is a spicy paste that everyone makes a little bit differently. Shrimp paste is a component in it, but WNK's is light on the shrimp, heavy on the chili. Most jarred sambal you find here in the US has that really strong shrimp paste smell and taste to it, which I think ruins the delicate flavor of the greens. Kang kong, sold in the US as Chinese spinach or water spinach, is simply stir fried in the sambal.

Restaurants in the US need to add cereal prawns to their menus, pronto. All you do is deep fry some big ol' prawns, then set those aside. Then they take dry cereal and cook that with a shitload of butter, bird's eye chilies, and curry leaves. The hot prawns are then tossed in the cereal, et voila.

Cereal prawns will forever be one of my favorite guilty pleasures. They check off the whole list! They're sweet, salty, spicy, crunchy, and even a little floral thanks to the curry leaves. After the prawns are gone, I just pour the leftover cereal into my spicy chicken rice mush and spoon that into my mouth.

Then I go home and nap for four hours.

Wee Nam Kee Singapore Cereal Prawn Chicken

Spencer 9/9/15 Spencer 9/9/15

Local Eats at Larder And Cupboard

After years of ignoring Maplewood, I now find myself there on a weekly basis. I pick up whatever meats I'm feeling like from Bolyard's, maybe a donut or 12 from Strange Donuts, stare longingly at Reed's American Table (open today!), then head into Larder & Cupboard (L&C). You want to eat locally? You need to get over there. Even I didn't know the extent of local goods available. Here's your guide to my 10 favorite locally made products you can find there:

All the Cheeses

Like most trustworthy people, I love cheese. When I was young, it was the fried mozzarella cheese bombs at Seamus McDaniel's. After a trip to France, the obsession became European imports. Then it was California cheeses. Larder & Cupboard has helped me the see the light: Missouri and Illinois have some badass cheeses. My current recommendations: Marcoot Creamery's scamorza, Baetje's Morbier-inspired Amoureux, and the amazing Flory's Truckle from Milton Creamery.

Kuva and Stringbean Coffee

The local coffee scene has shot off like a rocket in recent years, with places like Sump and Blueprint gaining notoriety on a national scale. We have our share of great local roasters who don't have stores, as well. Kuva has been around since the early 2000's, while Stringbean arrived in 2011. I may not know much about coffee, but I know I like Kuva's Peru Chilchos and Stringbean's smooth Sumatra.

Inappropriate Apiaries' South City Honey

If you live in South City, this honey could have been made because of your garden! Wow! Good for you. Tommy 'Salami' Andrews (of Truffles Butchery) has been producing this honey for years, but this is the first time he's sold it. It is good honey, too. It's been flying off the shelves for a reason (and it's not just the great logo).

Hammons Black Walnut Oil

Trying to be healthy makes salads so boring. You don't get to use any of that creamy stuff, so you're stuck with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Or are you? Open up your wallet, cheapskate, and buy some walnut oil. It's got a delicate, nutty flavor that gives an extra umph to any salad or veggie dish. Drizzling it over a fall-flavored pasta instead of olive oil is sure to impress the ladies, too.

Larder and Cupboard St. Louis Black Walnut Oil

Banner Road Granola

When Anne Croy isn't making her perfect gelato's, donuts, and desserts for Pastaria, she can often be found pumping out tube after tube of granola for her Banner Road Baking Company. You'll be hard-pressed to pick a favorite: is it the pecan heavy Original? The blueberry filled Bye Bye Blues? Or the Sump coffee and Askinosie chocolate KickStart?

The correct answer is the KickStart, but I love all three. She recommends eating them with a spoon, I recommend pouring them directly into your mouth.

Ozark Forest Shiitake Soy Sauce

Bluegrass Soy Sauce, seen on the left side of the photo, has been growing in popularity for years thanks to the likes of Sean Brock and Ed Lee. I prefer Ozark Forest's shiitake mushroom soy sauce, though. It's less acidic and has a nice, subtle mushroom note. That woodsy flavor is the perfect addition to your next stir fry.

Larder and Cupboard St. Louis Shiitake Soy Sauce

Legacy Chutney

Ahh, my first love at L&C. The recipes all come from the owner's Pakistani family, and they are beyond addictive. There are four flavors: Cherry Kiss, Date Night, Mango Mania, and Sweet Fruit. Sweet Fruit & Mango Mania are thinner, and in my opinion, more versatile. I've used both as condiments and for marinades with chicken and fish. Cherry Kiss and Date Night are a little thicker, lending themselves more to desserts and cheeses.

These are my favorite items in the whole store. I've had them stocked in my fridge since Larder & Cupboard opened.

Larder and Cupboard St. Louis Legacy Chutney

Salume Beddu

You know that I love Salume Beddu. What Marco and his team are creating is nothing short of amazing. Most groceries in St. Louis sell the Veneto, Calabrese, and Finocchiona now, but they don't have the fiery nduja, a spreadable salami fit for kings, nor do they carry a range of Beddu's sausages. If you're ever making a "Best of St. Louis" gift basket, these need to be at the top of the list.

Mac's Local Buys Sausage

The same sentiment as above goes for Mac's. Chris McKenzie works with a number of local farms to procure great locally sourced meat, which he then turns into great sausages (amongst other things). Keeping a pack or two...or ten...in your freezer is a smart move.

Larder and Cupboard Mac's Local Buys St. Louis

Larder and Cupboard Sweet Olive Spread

So far, Larder and Cupboard has made just one product themselves: a sweet olive spread. They aren't tooting their horn about it too much, and it's almost hidden away in the cheese case, but it is one of the more unique things I've eaten—in a good way. Apparently it's used in Italian bakeries, but I prefer spreading some onto crackers and cheese.

Larder and Cupboard St. Louis Sweet Olive Spread

Bonus Round!

Newberry Cheese Boards

I couldn't keep myself at just 10 items, plus these aren't edible. Newberry Furniture makes these fun Missouri and Illinois shaped cheeseboards out of local wood. They make great gifts—in fact, they're so great that L&C is often sold out of them. Make sure to call ahead if you're looking for these.

Larder and Cupboard St. Louis Cutting Boards

Larder & Cupboard

7310 Manchester Road

Maplewood, MO 63143

314.300.8995

Spencer 9/7/15 Spencer 9/7/15

Kim's Bakery

If you're one of those people who has grumbled and moaned to me about being so far from places like La Patisserie Chouquette, Pint Size Bakery, and Whisk because you live in West County, you need to stop whining right now. You have a place to go. A place with pastries and baked goods you can't find anywhere else in St. Louis. Yes, you have something unique that you can rub in the faces of your city dwelling friends. You have Kim's Bakery. So shush. Kim's Bakery is the same thing as St. Louis Korean Bakery and Kim Dok Won Bakery. When you Google it, you'll see any of those names appear.

What's special about a Korean bakery, you ask? Everything. It's all so goddamn delicious. There's a reason that the French-inspired South Korean bakery chain Paris Baguette is spreading through Asia like wildfire: traditional French techniques and recipes have been modified for the Asian palate, and for that, we should all be thankful.

Every day, the Kim's crew bakes more cookies, breads, cakes, and other tasty bits than you can imagine. Some highlights from my most recent trip, clockwise from top left:

1. The melonpan's name comes from it's appearance—it looks like a rock melon—not its flavor. Based on its size, you'd expect it to be a hefty snack, but it's actually hollow inside. It's like a buttery, sugary balloon. The outside of the dough takes on this crackly, crunchy texture while the inside remains soft.

2. White bean balls are for the sugar lovers. Don't let the word 'bean' be a turnoff: you know how good red bean paste is. While red bean tends to have a sticky, gummy texture, white bean is creamy and has less flavor, so almond paste/extract is used. If you like almonds and sugar, or you're looking to get diabetes, you will enjoy these.

3. Do you enjoy custard? Do you enjoy soft, sweet dough? Get the custard bun.

4. I can't leave without getting a fistball. Imagine making a chestnut and raisin bread pudding, but instead of making it as goopy as Americans like theirs, you put it in your hand, make a fist, then toast it so the outside is crunchy. This is what you'd get.

Asian bakeries have an obsession with hot dogs, for some reason. My last time there, the owner insisted I get the sausage pizza bread: slices of hot dog interlaced in dough, topped with cheese and ketchup. It makes for really good drunk food. I'm not sure why, out of all the things in the shop, this is what she really wanted me to get, but I assume she's just an avid Whiskey & Soba reader and knows I'm a pizza fiend.

You may remember my post on Kim's earlier this year highlighting two of their cakes, but I've found the real winner: the green tea cake. It's the best green tea cake I've had anywhere. The top of the cake has a cool post-apocalyptic nuclear green smear design, then you get a thick layer of fluffy green tea mousse, a layer of cake, a smaller layer of mousse dotted with chestnuts, then cake again. I'm embarrassed by how much of this cake I ate, most of which was done secretly late at night.

And yes, this cake was purchased and consumed for Father's Day of this year. I forgot to write about it. I even considered going and getting a new one to re-shoot it, but after the last few weeks of heavy eating, I figured this would be best.

Kim's Bakery is a serious asset for Chesterfield/Creve Coeur. If you're in West County, go. If you're further east, make your friends bring you some (don't bother with the rolled cakes, though; they're the only things there I haven't liked). And most importantly, don't be afraid to go in and try new things. Most items come packaged individually, so you can pick and choose a wide variety.

Kim’s Bakery

13357 Olive Blvd

Chesterfield, MO 63017

(314) 523-1332

Spencer 8/19/15 Spencer 8/19/15

2am:dessertbar

The "World's 50 Best" awards are a bit of a sham, but seeing that Singaporean Janice Wong had won Best Pastry Chef in 2013 & 2014 had me intrigued. Her restaurant, 2am:dessertbar, is tucked away behind and above a bar in Holland Village. Known for their beautiful, inventive, and delicious desserts, I decided it was something I shouldn't pass up. 2am opens at 3pm and closes at 2am, making it a fun late night stop for a cocktail and treat. Patricia and I opted to go at 4pm on a weekday because we're just that wild.

From the restaurant's website, I thought it was going to be dark and moody, with spotlights aiming down at the table, creating an air of theater and mystery. Instead, it was like pretty much any other restaurant. Even the music seemed slightly off; I had imagined the kind of music you might hear at a W Hotel would be playing, all helping to create a very cool experience.

With only two other tables taken when we arrived, we had our choice of seats. We ended up at the bar, right where the wall curve upwards.

Reviews of 2am constantly reference terrible service and I will wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. The waiter did everything he could to avoid us, and when we finally got him at our table, it seemed like every request was a chore. I think if we had asked for one more thing (god forbid we want some water), his reaction would have been like this.

Service and ambiance aside, we decided we'd get three desserts to split. Aggravatingly, all three were brought out at the same time. If we had ordered two desserts, for one person, I can understand that; but you would think that when two people order three desserts, that they would space it or at least give us a heads up—especially when each dessert has parts that will melt. Instead of a leisurely mid-day meal, we had to scarf down all three desserts in a hurry so we could actually taste them.

The first dessert was [symple_highlight color="blue"]Purple[/symple_highlight]: purple potato puree, blackberry parfait, fruit leather, lavender marshmallows, fruits of the forest sorbet. It seems like a waste to put so much work into so many elements when it all ends up tasting the same. As the dish melted (very quickly), we both agreed that it all just sort of tasted like a berry sorbet. We tasted no lavender and no purple potato.

2am dessert bar purple desserts singapore

The [symple_highlight color="blue"]Hojicha Sesame[/symple_highlight] was the highlight of the desserts, namely because of the tofu parfait and hojicha custard. The tofu was dense and creamy, and when paired with the smoky hojicha, it was perfect. The dish should have focused on that and only that.

The right side of the plate had a pear vodka sorbet, what tasted like ginger jellies, and a mushroom crumble. I don't even understand this side of the plate. I didn't think the flavors added anything to the idea of hojicha and sesame, nor did I think they were particularly good. Not only that, but the crumble itself was chewy and stale. The left side of the plate was the best of the day; the right side was the worst.

2am dessert bar hojicha sesame singapore

2am dessert bar hojicha sesame dessert singapore

2am dessert bar hojicha sesame tofu singapore

Our final dessert was [symple_highlight color="blue"]Popcorn[/symple_highlight], a mix of sweet and salty with a very, very tart passionfruit sorbet. Ignoring the stale popcorn (I still don't know if we were supposed to eat it or not—we asked the waiter and he just kind of raised his eyebrows at us), this dish didn't work composed as it was. You had to smash it all up into a mess, melding the flavors together to get it to work.

It did nothing for me. It didn't evoke the taste of popcorn. All it did was taste like salty passionfruit.

2am dessert bar popcorn dessert singapore

2am dessert bar popcorn passionfruit dessert singapore

Like many other people who have gone to 2am:dessertbar, I was hugely disappointed. The desserts are beautiful and complex, but all that work is wasted when it doesn't taste good. It's sort of like this famous Miss America contestant: she looks good, but that's about it. I thought this would be a no-brainer entry into my Best Desserts of 2015 list, but it won't be appearing there. Perhaps the 2am team should take notes from Bob Zugmaier and Sarah Blue about how to make a dessert that's both beautiful and delicious.

Spencer 8/13/15 Spencer 8/13/15

The Glory of Singapore Malls

The great American shopping mall is my personal hell. I went - out of necessity, not having time to order from Amazon - just before leaving for Singapore, arriving at exactly 10 am, aiming to avoid all human contact. Regrettably, it was full of fannypacked mall walkers, leaving me dodging the elderly left and right. I will never return. The typical Singaporean mall, on the other hand, is where I spent most of my time when I wasn't sleeping or working. Why? Well, when you're in a tiny country and not the urban sprawl, you don't have the luxury of space. You're limited horizontally, but not vertically. Your typical mall dives three or four stories below ground, with the bottom levels linked to the next closest mall or metro station. With everything connected, you rarely have to go out into the blazing heat to get from place to place.

The middle floors will be your typical stores, then the top will be either residential, a hotel, or office space. My apartment there was literally connected to the mall. From our pool deck, I looked into the restaurants and coffee shops. Think about all those lucky Starbucks customers who got to watch me sunbathe.

Speaking of restaurants and coffee shops: the malls are where you go to eat. There are, of course, tons of street-side restaurants throughout the country, but as new malls pop up monthly, the restaurants move inside. The biggest differentiation between U.S. mall restaurants and Singapore's is that their target clientele aren't mouthbreathers who think Cheesecake Factory is the greatest restaurant ever.

Seeing as I was living both above and next to a number of malls, it was only fitting I'd start my day there. Perhaps with Ya Kun's [symple_highlight color="blue"]kaya toast with peanuts[/symple_highlight] and a [symple_highlight color="blue"]kopi peng[/symple_highlight], the breakfast of fat champions. Kaya is this wonderful egg, coconut, and sugar spread that's sure to give you diabetes, and Kopi is the buttery Singaporean coffee, typically mixed with condensed milk, sure to give you diabetes.

Other healthy options include a wide range of donuts from J. Co, including Patricia's favorite, the [symple_highlight color="blue"]Avocado di Caprio[/symple_highlight]. Avocado glaze, avocado cream filling, chocolate flakes around the rim. Solid donut choice, right there.

Not a huge donut fan myself, I preferred to stop by Breadtalk and peruse. You get a tray and tongs, then you can just go crazy and grab all the breads you want!

Moving on from coffee shops and bakeries, you'll find a lot of small stalls that focus on one or two things. I'm a total slut for Japanese [symple_highlight color="blue"]takoyaki[/symple_highlight], so I'll usually hit up Gindaco once or twice. Takoyaki are molten balls of what is basically pancake dough, filled with octopus, green onion, crispy stuff, and who cares, just eat it. It's topped with a BBQ sauce, Japanese mayo, and bonito flakes. The temptation to eat it right away is strong, but if you do, you will burn your goddamn tongue off. TRUST ME.

Can't get enough balls? You could get the Hong Kong Egglet waffle from Far East Plaza for dessert.

Mall restaurants vary in size, with some seating 30 or so people, like Nam Nam Noodle Bar. Contrary to what the name would tell you, skip the noodles and get the bahn mi. You choose the meat (braised beef, caramelized pork belly, tofu, grilled chicken, chicken meatballs, lemongrass pork), then it's piled into a toasty baguette filled with chicken pate, cilantro, chilies, mayo, pickled carrots, daikon, and cucumber. If they would replace their bread with a better version, this would probably be the best bahn mi I've had.

Sick of East Asian food? No problem. Try Pita Pan, a Middle Eastern build-your-own pita shop. The setup is like Subway, except the food has mountains of flavor and they don't hire overweight pedophiles as their spokespeople (I don't think...). Speaking of Subway, all your favorite American chains are there: Kenny Roger's Roasters, KFC, McDonalds, etc. McDonalds Singapore has something called the McSpicy that packs enough heat to burn like the sun going in and out. A fitting punishment for eating McDonalds while in Singapore.

Something no one is making in St. Louis (and not even in the US, really) is Japanese curry. Most people think that the Japanese sit around eating dainty bites of sushi while drinking green tea. Wrong. They're at CoCo Ichibanya eating plates of curry the size of a small child. Just look at that pork katsu cutlet! And how about those shrimp? I'm getting hungry.

Maybe curry rice isn't your thing. Maybe [symple_highlight color="blue"]curry udon[/symple_highlight] from Tsuru-Koshi fits your needs better.

One of my all-time favorite spots to grab a meal in Singapore is at 4Fingers Fried Chicken. Korean style fried chicken brushed with either soy-garlic sauce or a fiery hot sauce with your choice of seaweed or kimchi fries. This chicken has megacrunch and great flavor. The gargantuan sandwich you see at the bottom has become my new go-to.

Finally, we have the food courts. Cheap eats cooked to order. I ate at the 313@Somerset FoodRepublic 3 or so times a week for nearly 2 years and didn't even get to try most of the stuff there.

A couple recommendations:

Popiah: it's a Singaporean vegetarian spring roll filled with all sorts of stuff. Crunchy stuff, soft stuff. Get it with chili.
Ayam Panggang, aka Indonesian Grilled Chicken: Holy sweet mother of God, this is it. This is my favorite of all the food court foods. You get grilled chicken topped with a sweet, thick black sauce, a mountain of rice, and an omelette. Then...the curry. I don't know what it is about this curry, but I'm 100% addicted to it. The woman at Indonesian Riverside BBQ in 313@Somerset knew me as "curry guy" 'cause I always wanted extra.
Roti Prata: Thin Indian bread that you can get plain or filled, served with a side of curry. Simple, fatty, wonderful.

If you ever make your way over, don't skip out on the malls: there are plenty of gems in there for you to eat.

Spencer 8/7/15 Spencer 8/7/15

Dumpling in Singapore

My early days in Singapore were rough: profuse and constant sweating, an apartment with walls so thin I could hear every loud, angry conversation my neighbors had, and no friends. I was a hot, tired, lonely manchild. I was also completely overwhelmed by the hundreds of eating choices within a 15 minute walk of my apart. So much so that I had taken to eating mostly grocery store sushi or attempting to cook on my tiny one-burner stove. I was in a food depression. After some Googling, I learned that the closest mall to me had this popular dumpling chain from Taiwan in it called Din Tai Fung (DTF). I decided I would man up and go eat there all by my lonesome.

That's where I had my first Xiao Long Bao, or soup dumpling, and my life was forever changed. I was going multiple times a week, trying everything I could. It became my go-to restaurant to take out of towners. The risk averse could stick with the XLB's and maybe a bowl of noodle soup, while the more intrepid could try the funky black and green century eggs.

Even now it remains Patricia and my "can't decide where to eat" restaurant. Twice on this past trip we ended up there. I've always loved that a meal there could be extremely healthy or the kind of glutinous feast that leaves you wheezing.

Simple starters range from the Oriental Saladin special vinegar dressing is a simple (below) to sliced duck in a crispy spring onion pastry.

Din Tai Fung Singapore Chili Oil Dumplings

If I'm not getting XLB's, which is rare, I'm getting the Oriental wantons in black vinegar and chili oil. The combination of Chinese vinegar and chili oil is just so goddamn good, I can't help but spoon the excess sauce into my mouth after I've killed off the wontons.

Every DTF has a window into the room where all dumplings and buns are made at lightning speed and steamed. Every dumpling is rolled out to an exact diameter, given an exact amount of meat, and folded exactly 18 times. All of this happens in seconds. I would be terrible at it.

At the nicer DTF locations, they have premium dumpling options, including chili crab and truffle. No longer able to resist temptation, I ordered a single Pork & Truffle Xiao Long Bao. One small dumpling, $5.00.

Was it worth it? Was it truffley? Oh mama. What makes a XLB magical is that solid meat aspic is in the filling, so when steamed, the aspic melts and the dumpling is magically filled with both a tiny meatball and piping hot soup. This truffle version had truffle in the broth, plus whole slices of shaved black truffles. It was truly a flavor bomb.

Din Tai Fung Singapore Truffle Xiao Long Bao

I remember the first time Patricia and I tried Paradise Dynasty, a beautiful, huge restaurant at the top of the ION Orchard mall. I felt like I was cheating on Din Tai Fung with a younger, richer, more beautiful restaurant. "Don't worry, DTF! I'm sure the food here isn't as good as yours!" I thought to myself.

I was so wrong. Paradise Dynasty was better in every way. In an instant, Din Tai Fung became the ugly ex-girlfriend. I Brad Pitted Din Tai Fung. Paradise's focus is less on dim sum and more on soups, noodles, and more hearty entrees, but their dumplings are incredible.

All of their ads are for their 8 flavored XLB's (original, garlic, Szechuan, ginseng, foie gras, black truffle, cheesy, and crab roe), but the original is king. The dumpling's skin is softer and less dough, the soup and pork vastly more flavorful. They are the greatest XLB's I've ever had.

St. Louis has so few options with soup dumplings that you probably don't know how to eat them correctly. Here are the steps, in photos:

Look at your dumplings. Plan your attack. Choose the juiciest one.
Pick it up - GENTLY, MAN! - and place it on your spoon.
Poke a hole in it so the soup runs into your spoon. Drink said soup. Alternately, you can just go at it like a vampire: bite it and suck.
Dip the soupless dumpling into your mix of soy/vinegar/ginger.

Paradise Dynasty Singapore Xiao Long Bao

Paradise Dynasty soup dumpling spoon Singapore

Paradise Dynasty Singapore xiao long bao sauce

Their other dumpling types are winners, too. The pan seared buns with a slightly sweet dough? Not sharing those. Their take on the dumplings in chili and vinegar? Not only are they way meatier than Din Tai Fung's, but the sauce has a much better balance thanks to some sweetness.

Paradise Dynasty Pan Fried Pork Bun Singapore

Paradise Dynasty crispy pork bun singapore

Paradise Dynasty Singapore wontons in chili oil

The fact I can't get dumplings this good in St. Louis makes me so, so sad. The only solution is that I will have to take on the endeavor myself, slaving away in my kitchen until I get it right. One day, Spencer's Dumpling Hut will be unveiled and all will rejoice.